I don't like the language I need to improve in order to achieve my dreams - how to deal with the blockage?

About three years ago I moved to a German-speaking country. I started learning the language, achieved a very good level after around a year (B2-C1). Tbh I never liked the language itself that much, but it was a nice challenge and the quick, noticeable progress would constantly keep my motivation on a high level. Step by step I was able to go to offices, shops, talk to people and write emails with almost no problem. Then (1.5 years ago) I got a full time job in an English speaking company in my field (and it's not easy to get a job in this industry). I stopped taking German courses because of lack of time and energy, was just using it for every-day problems, shopping and some email exchanges/phone calls etc, so my level got much worse, but was still okay-ish.

My plan all along was to do Master's degree in my field whenever I feel comfortable with my job. Unfortunately there is no program available in English within 500 km from my city (and distance learning isn't possible). I found one suitable university program not far away that starts in September and is in German.

So, German, we meet again... I did a placement test, attended a few language courses and... almost no progress and even less motivation than before them. Every time I had a lesson I had to really push myself to attend it. I just took a certifying exam that I need for the university and passed it with a very low score (but honestly I put maybe 5% of the effort I could have put).

Soon I will have an interview and a test for the Uni and I'm freaking out, because every time I even think about preparing myself in German I feel sick, I'm so tired of it. English is also not my first language and while learning it I never ever ever experienced this problem.

I really want to develop myself in my field for work, it's a fascinating topic and I know for a fact it would be a loooot of fun to study it. I'm also not entirely sure why my attitude towards German is so bad right this moment. It's "just" a tool to use, nothing more than that and yet I feel fed up even when I read something interesting in German and don't know how to chill out about it.

Have you ever experienced this kind of a problem? Does it make sense to push yourself if it's about learning a language?

submitted by /u/Comeonlana
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