For those who were not taught their native tongue, do you feel pressure to learn to pass it down.

I’m in my mid-20s and grew up in a household where my mom speaks Arabic and Dinka, but I was never taught either language.

I asked multiple times when I was younger, even through my teenage years, but there was never really any effort from my family to teach me. It wasn’t openly hostile or anything — just… it never happened.

Now I feel this weird mix of frustration and sadness about it. On one hand, I feel disconnected from my own culture and like I’m missing a big part of my identity. On the other hand, I’ve been thinking about whether it even makes sense to try and “fix” it now, or just move on and not repeat the same pressure with my own future kids.

Part of me feels like I should pass down something different — maybe focus on languages like French, and Spanish, etc., instead of trying to force a connection to something I didn’t really receive myself.

I actually feel more naturally connected to Latin-based languages, even though I’m East African. I don’t fully understand why, but French and Spanish feel familiar and easier for me in a way I can’t really explain. So I sometimes wonder if it would make more sense for me to pass those down instead. I get sad when I think about it lol because how can I know another culture stronger that my own? If you get what I mean.

But another part of me feels guilty about that, like I’m cutting off a part of my roots on purpose.

I guess I’m just wondering: has anyone else been in a situation where they weren’t taught their heritage language, and how did that affect how you think about passing culture/language down to your own kids?

Did you try to reclaim it later, or did you choose a different path?

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