Why can I talk to myself in my target language but I suck at it when I speak to others?

So, I've been self studying my target language for over 7 months now. I have made a pretty quick progress, which is why reading and writing is not that hard for me, as well as understanding the grammar.

BUT I've been practicing speaking since the very beginning as well and I feel like I still pretty much suck at it. I just don't know why. When I start speaking, I forget all the grammar and words that I usually know when I'm reading or writing them. Why could that be? It's honestly pretty frustrating and sometimes it feels like I'll never be able to speak the language.

But there is another thing I have noticed. Because of my speaking skill being so bad, I've been holding conversations with myself to practice it and the weird thing is, I don't struggle as much as when I'm speaking to my teacher (with whom I practice speaking) or native speakers. When I speak to myself, I surely make mistakes BUT I remember all the words and I'm able to build whole sentences. Which is definitely not the case when I speak to others. Why could that be? What else could I do to improve? How long did it take you to be able to speak well?

Oh, btw, my target language is an agglutinative language, which is completely different from my native tongue. That makes everything even more challenging

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