I give up after 10 years of studying

So, I started learning the language X as a second foreign language back in school. I was good and I liked it, even though I have never been really fluent.

Then, after school, I tried to do a year course in order not to lose my level, then I was studying it on my own, on and off for some years. I was feeling really guilty for abandoning it and I was promising myself that I would take it up as soon as I have more free time, although I didn't need that language and thus was poorly motivated. As a result, I took it up as a second foreign language during my Master's and after that my parents decided to pay for a course in a cool language school as a birthday gift.

Due to personal circumstances, I had to give it up again and start studying a different language from scratch, so in a year I have reached certain fluency in it and now language X is actually my third language. I had more free time again, I started feeling guilty again, I started learning again. No success.

I realized that I don't like this language. I don't enjoy studying it, I have no particular interest in the country or the culture, I don't have any friends, I don't travel there often... So I decided to finally get released - I don't want to feel guilty, I want to study languages just for fun.

Have you ever experienced that? What do you think? Have you ever felt this "guilt"?

P.S. the X language is French. I already speak English (C2), Spanish (B2) and I've recently started Italian (A1).

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