How do I learn a language without actually learning a language?

Hi, so I want to learn Klingon and Basque-Algonquin pidgin and I was wondering if there was one simple trick to help me learn languages that no one has ever said on this sub (and they would obviously say it to me because I'm smart). Does electroshock therapy while whaling off the coast of Newfoundland help me learn better? How about if I have a Basque cheesecake? Does Duoshlongo have lessons for that? Can I achieve C5 in three weeks using the Xiaoma method?

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