I've been a non-native English (TL) speaker for a few years now. Every sentence I speak and write, including this Reddit post, is my unconscious mind just writing down whatever it thinks is right, based on all the pattern recognition and hearing I've done from others speaking the language.
Lately I've been wanting to do things correctly; go ahead and try to learn what I've been avoiding for too long, the actual grammar that's contributing as the pillars to the sentences I write, and unlock the ability to write much deeper and complex sentences without having to fear the possibility of the grammar being wrong despite my instincts, or even in casual speech; I lately have this small voice saying "your sentence might be wrong" as I've been scratching the surface of academic learning.
I'm actually stuck now, between two things; I can just avoid learning fundamental grammar and let my ear carry everything on, and maybe I'll expand much more gradually and slowly by just listening more and more to English (TL); or get over my fears and begin to learn it fundamentally, and just hope I can get back on track and be able to dump it all onto my subconscious as soon as I can, getting out of that extremely slow sentence forming stage that comes with learning something academically;
Since what really happens is, once I begin to learn everything fundamentally and correctly, it's as if I'm basically starting from scratch, and for a good while, forming every sentence will need my brain to check a good amount of checkboxes and validate and think for the correct words and verbs, each and every single time, meaning it'll be painfully slow for a good while until I really catch it; instead of just relying on my much less concise and fundamental, yet much faster (for now) ear that has the real chance of messing things up.
So it's basically a decision between:
- Something that I'm used to, which currently works really fast, yet will never be that capable of writing complex sentences or doing it without any mistakes
- Start learning the fundamental base, which will lead to extremely slow sentence formation at first, but has the much higher potential to be creative and complex and cohesive, and much less prone to errors.
I'm stuck, and this situation I just described might sound incredibly niche; I just hope someone with the same phenomenon I'm experiencing who has already passed the stage can help me out. Thanks!
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