I saw a comment today saying that Learning languages is emotional work. And I couldn’t agree more.
I’ve been living in Germany for 2 years now and decided to look for jobs where I could only speak German as a way to 1. get a better salary and 2. practice the language in a hardcore way.
Oh boy, has it been hardcore.
After a phone call and an in-person interview with 2 Coordinators (obviously, in German), I entered a company where 99% of all workers are German. And in a position that is client-centered.
I only started the job this week and so far I’ve had no problem understanding what anyone says. But when it comes to actually expressing myself orally, I have been acting like a nervous little rat. I feel like a kid who has been invited to a grown-up party and can’t act properly.
I stutter, my tongue gets stuck in the back of my mouth and my memory fails me whenever I need to remember important words or make up sentences in my head.
I see how the other employees express themselves and can’t help it but to think that it will take me forever to get there. Why the hell did these people hire me?!
I know that I did well in the interview, but I don’t think I should’ve been hired in the first place and I’m afraid it’s only a matter of time before they fire me. And that makes me even more nervous because I depend on my work visa to stay in the country.
In a way, I just had to rant. In another, I could use motivational similar stories to inspire myself. Any psychological tricks on how to get my shit together?
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