Personal Situation I'd love advice on:
My spouse's family does not speak English (my native language and the primary language of the country we all live in). They speak both Mandarin and a specific dialect (which is not mutually intelligible with Mandarin).
My spouse speaks the dialect but does not speak Mandarin, though he used to as a kid and can understand it fine. We both decided we would study hard to learn it so that someday if we have kids we can speak it as a household and they'll be able to talk to their grandparents.
I study the best I can by myself every day and meet with a tutor once a week. However, I've reached a point where I'm failing to retain or progress because I have no immersion in daily life. I really need him to practice or study with me in some way but anytime I ask he strongly doesn't want to. Sometimes we'll have a 2-3 sentence practice moment right before bed but that's the most we get. I've suggested setting specific times each week or specific activities that we don't speak any English for but he doesn't like the idea.
We've had the conversation several times and he still agrees he wants us to both learn Mandarin before we have kids but when it comes time to actually study or practice, he wants no part in it.
We've tried to figure out why and he's mentioned that maybe he has some leftover hesitation about speaking something besides English because of being bullied as a kid growing up in the Southern USA. I understand the complexities that kind of trauma can cause and I'm more than happy to give him grace and space with those issues, but I don't understand if that's the issue - why he has no problems speaking the dialect to his family and in public. It's only Mandarin he seems to want to avoid speaking.
I wouldn't mind finding immersion elsewhere and leaving him alone but there just aren't any opportunities in my area and I'm already spending as much as I can afford to meet just once a week with a tutor. I can't practice with his family because every time we visit them they speak in the dialect, which I totally understand why they do, and wouldn't want them to switch for my sake. I can't learn the dialect because there are just no resources to learn from and according to my spouse, his parents said there's no point in learning the dialect and Mandarin would be better.
I want to be a self-sufficient learner but I'm just not sure I can reach the goal by myself.
Broader Question:
I'd love to hear from others who are learning a language with their partner. How do you stay equally motivated? What issues have you run into? Are there any daily habits you've picked up that help you both a lot?
[link] [comments]
from Language Learning https://ift.tt/utoGlnw
via Learn Online English Speaking
Comments
Post a Comment