I think a lot of this is imposter syndrome or low self-confidence, but I have been teaching a foreign language going on my second year (albeit, in a different professional setting). I had to take an oral (speaking) test and a writing test for the job and obviously passed both. However, not only am I the only non-native speaker in my department, I also just am constantly making mistakes or simply don’t know how to say a lot. I share office space with my colleagues so I am constantly listening to them all day, but find it incredibly challenging to converse with them due to my anxiety and inability to express myself in the foreign language as compared to my mother tongue. I feel really incompetent and kind of alone/awkward. I think what is most anxiety-provoking is the expectation I have for myself (and perhaps what others—colleagues and students) have for me as well in that if I’m not native/fluent, I should be pretty near close. However, I’m just plain not—there are still some basic grammar rules that are a little rusty for me (background context: I basically was on a seven-year hiatus from the foreign language so…don’t use it, you lose it?). I have no one to talk to about this because I don’t know anyone that has experienced this situation. Im just terrified everyday that im going to be found out. In my previous job, many of my students were more proficient/fluent in the language than I was (however, several of them were heritage speakers). Has anyone experienced something similar? I keep trying to stay confident, but as a foreign language teacher, there’s the understanding that you need to know….most things. Any advice/ideas or commiseration would be greatly appreciated!
[link] [comments]
from Language Learning https://ift.tt/NnI3kZV
via Learn Online English Speaking
Comments
Post a Comment