Do you ever feel like you are trying to be someone else? Or ever just questioned your identity when speaking a foreign language?
I've been learning Chinese for a long time now, somewhere between HSK 5 and 6 rn (C1/2). My new roommate happens to be Chinese and for the last few months we've been actively conversing in Mandarin for most daily things. It was a bit bumpy in the first month but now we've got the hang of each others' way of speaking. I was always insecure about my identity, but I feel that this has just push it over the edge, like I am trying to be someone else.
To give you some context, as someone who's lived in multiple countries, I've never really felt a strong sense of identity anywhere. Bumping from one international school to another, I didn't have a solid group of friends, grew up an introvert consuming Anime and in the last few years, moved to generally East Asian TV shows. I started off learning Japanese as a hobby, but soon switched to Chinese because it was easier. Now it feels like I started it as a way of escapism, maybe because I never really built a linguistic identity?
Apologies for this rather sentimental post, but these thoughts have been troubling me and dissuading me from learning for a while now. When you've been learning a language for a long time, how do you deal with it becoming a part of your identity?
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