Comparison is ruining my language learning experience :/

I hope someone can offer some kind of tips or just some advice. I've gone through so much change in the past year, so I absolutely know that I can overcome my shortcomings, but I am seriously struggling with comparison.

I've been ''learning'' German for 3-4 years, and the '' marks are because realisticallly I've probably only spent between 1.5-2 years trying. Every time I get into the flow of practicing the language, I'm robbed by comparison. And it's comparison in the most ridiculous forms sometimes, like comparison with native speakers who have spent 40+ years speaking the language.

I also now have a good friend who studies German, but he does it for a masters whilst I'm still undergrad. This mere fact is so hard for me to deal with, because we are both the same age and at different educational levels. I'm undergrad because it took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to do, and I had to spend a lot of time resolving mental health issues, in addition to having dropped out from the education system.

I simply feel so inferior when I'm around these people speaking. Logically I know all the reasons why comparison is important in some circumstances but most often not, but I just can't seem to get emotionally me to truly understand that.

Honestly comparison is really making the experience of learning language quite depressing in recent times.

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