Why do I feel like this is impossible?

Hello, I've been trying to learn Japanese for a while now. I've watched Anime and Read Manga ever since I was a kid and will likely continue to do so forever. I listen to the language everyday through anime and thus would like to learn it so that I can better enjoy it. I took a beginners level class 3 years ago but have yet to find the time to study consistently, I often take months off only to forget everything when I return. I have already told multiple people that I wan't to learn the language so at this point it is just embarrassing. I don't want to quit because I would actually like to learn the language but at the same time I feel like an Idiot because I am sinking time and energy into something that's not paying off. I am beginning to doubt if it is possible for me to learn a language, play college sports, do well in college, look for jobs, ect. Does anyone have any advice?

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